Dobby's replacement
by Hari-hime
Summary: Naruto Harry Potter crossover Takes place after Harry sets Dobby free. Tsunade gets a visit from someone saying that the village has something that belongs back where he's from, but is she willing to give it to him? May contain yaoi. Ja Ne!
1. Chapter 1

Hari-hime: I hope you like it!

Naruto: I LOVED it!

Hari-hime: Thanks now if someone i didn't bribe with ramen could say that...

Both: look at Sasuke expectantly

Sasuke: I think it sucked when do I get to have a romp session with Naruto?

Hari-hime: Bastard. Did I forget to tell you?

Sasuke: Tell me what?

Hari-hime: I was thinking of making this a NaruSaku

Naruto: really _you _the self proclamed yaoi perv, are actually making me strait!?!

Hari-hime: Its not that surprising, is it.

Sasuke: Yea... Hey wait you're lying! You hate it when my Naru-uke is with the pink thing!

Hari-hime: True, true. If there ends up being any pairings Naru-chan will be some sexy boys uke.

Sasu and Naru: Who's?

Hari-hime: If you do the disclaimer I'd be more likely to tell you.

Sasu and Naru: **Disclaimer: Hari-hime doesn't own anything. If she did Naruto/I would have a diffrent seme every few episode(depending on what kinda fanfic she's been reading), Sasuke/I wouldn't have left, Sarutobi would be alive, and there'd be guys going at it everywhere.**

Hari-hime: Good boys!

Sasu and Naru: So tell us who will be Naruto's/my seme.

Hari-hime: At this point I'm not even sure you'll be with anybody, but if you need a name how about mmm... Kouga of the wolf demon tribe!

Sasu and Naru: glares

Hari-hime: Kidding, now let rock a hula and start this thing.

**_Story Start_**

Tsunade was sitting at her desk scratching off lotto cards and drinking herself to her happy place when suddenly a man was standing in her office. She looked from him to the bottle in her hand.

"Gaki might have been right. Maybe six bottles an hour isn't healthy. Funny usually I imagine my old team, Dan, and my Nawaki. I never have imagined stuff like this. Starting tomorrow only five and a half bottles of sake a day. I'm glad its past eleven or Shizune would kill me. Now how to make the image go bye-bye?" Tsunade pondered. That's when what Tsunade thought was an illusion decided to speak.

"My dear lady I am no more an illusion then you are. My name is Albus, Dumbledore Albus. I am here because I have recently discovered that…ah how shall I say this? Something that belongs where I am from is currently in this village and we would be very appreciative if you could return it to us." The geezer said.

"That all depends, Dumbledore-san, on what this item is. You see if it is something that could potentially harm our village we cannot and will not give it to you." Tsunade said studying the man closely for the first time since he arrived. He was an old man with a long silver beard, with long purple robes, and sparkling eyes behind half moon spectacles.

"I suppose you would probably refer to it as a he. He is the property of the Malfoy family; they are like the Uchiha and Hyuuga clans. While I personally don't belive in this kind of thing I am sad to say I gave an unbreakable wizards oath that I would make sure an old friend's will was carried out." Dumbledore said with just the slightest bit of sympathy in his voice. Tsunade narrowed her eyes at his words.

"Well then Dumbledore-san it seems that we have a problem. For I will never give up my people to become the slave of some crackpot who can't even hold his own with out a tree branch. I took a blood oath to protect this village and its people and that, sir, is what I plan on doing till I ether retire or until my dying day. So I suggest you stop wasting both of our time and leave at once." The now severely pissed off Hokage said leaking a bit of killer intent.

"My dear lady I ask you once more to please just give it to me. If you refuse I will have no other choice but to bring its masters here to collect it. It would be easier on us all if you just gave it to me now." Dumbledore all but begged.

"As long as the will of fire burns strong inside every leaf so to shall my refusal to give anyone to you. We may not use magic but we are still humans, and at lest we know the value of our comrades' lives. Now be gone!" Tsunade yelled.

"I shall take my leave then madam, but be warned. I will be back tomorrow with one or more of the Malfoys. You will find that they are rather possessive of there belongings." Albus said somewhat angered.

"Do your worst. I'll make it easy for you. I'll have the boy waiting for you out in the middle of the village. See if you can take him. We protect our own here. The whole village will flock to protect him." Tsunade sneered.

"Alright then his name is Minato." Albus says. He sees emotions flash through Tsunade's eyes. Finally they settle on a mix between humor, anger, and scorn.

"Foolish _wizard_," she says with disgust. "Minato has been dead for almost Twelve years.

"Ah, my dear in that case it goes to either his first born child, or the last child he made known contact with." Albus says interpreting the look on her face. She was frightened beyond belief. She whispers one last word that night before the wizard leaves the Hokage alone, after putting her into a deep slumber.

"Naruto..."

**_StoryEnd_**____________________________________________________________________________________  
Hari-hime: Well I liked it, but more importantly my little otouto, Akito-chan, said it didn't suck! He's a really harsh cridict, right Naru-chan?

Naruto: He totally is! I remember when you let him read the first story you ever wrote, you wouldn't stop crying or come out of the bathroom for hours!

Sasuke: Hn, well what do you expect from some weak, pathetic, blonde.

Hari-hime and Naruto: Sends death glares at Sasuke

Hari-hime: Lets castrate him.

Naruto: Then make him watch Barney for 72 hours strait.

sasuke: Hehehe, you know i was kidding right? I love your stories! especially your first, how could I not it was a sasunaru?

Hari-hime: Well while we go teach duckass here not to piss off a pair of bored blondes why don't you say something nice about this. Constructive critisism welcomed, but try to be nice. It's taken me a few years to pluck up the courage to actually post something. I'm kinda shy. Well TTFN. P.S. I get enough insults from my baby brother so please don't kill what little self esteem I have. Ja Ne.

Hari and Naru: Chase after Sasuke with a chainsaw and portable dvd player.

Sasuke: HELP ME! SAY SOMETHING NICE TO THE CRAZY CHICK WITH THE CHAINSAW. IT WILL SAVE MY LIFE... among other things...


	2. Chapter 2

Hari-hime: Yo peoples Gaa-chan's doing the disclaimer today! Why because he's cute and everyone else at this Christmas party's a little tipsy.

Naruto, with his Santa hat that has fox ears on it, and Ino, with her antlers, run in and start sing way off key Christmas carols. Neji and Sasuke start stripping, Shikamaru, who has on antlers and a blinking nose, sleeps with Chouji, also with antlers, snaking next to him. Gaara stands by the tree in a Santa hat with raccoon ears on it.

Gaara: **Disclaimer:** She doesn't own anything, cause if she did I would be have more cookies, right?

Hari-hime:That's right Raccoon-chan!-hands Gaara cookie-

Gaara: I love you!-eats cookie-

**Story Start**

In a dark, fancy, living room three people sat having tea. The older two were the only ones talking. The youngest just sat and watched them as if he didn't care, but he was actually hanging on there every word.

"So your saying that Uncle Edward had you take an unbreakable oath that you would make sure his will was fulfilled." The second oldest said. He had long, white blonde hair, cold eyes, and long black robes with snakes on them. In his hands he held a walking stick with a silver snake head at the top. The way he looked just screamed money, power, superiority, cruelty, and old blood. He was all of those things and more.

"Yes Lucius. He said that the time limit would run out if it wasn't claimed before October tenth of this year. He said to give you this letter and have you read it before I even try to explain what I mean by time limit. So here you are." The eldest man said handing Lucius an envelope. The oldest man was wearing deep green robes, with a matching hat; he had a long silver beard, sparkling eyes, and half moon spectacles that sat on his long, crooked nose. Lucius took the envelope and opened it warily before he read the letter. If you glanced at him you probably wouldn't notice how much the letter shocked him. But the other two in the room noticed how his eyes slightly widened and the small smirk that flashed across his face before he was back to his emotionless looking state. The letter read as followed.

_"Dear nephew,_

_If you're reading this then I have finally passed away. In my will I left all my possessions to you and your family. I hope young Draco is doing well, and your wife, Narcissa. I was never one to beat around the bush so listen up. About eleven years ago I was traveling all around, as you know. However what I never told you was that while I was traveling I came across the hidden shinobi world. Only a select few are supposed to know about it. The ministers of magic and the leaders of the five top hidden ninja village; commonly referred to as Kages. Now one village in particular caught my attention. It was called Konoha. It was hidden in a forest. Trees as far as the eye could see. There Kage was called the Hokage, or fire shadow. He may no longer hold office now. He was the fourth Hokage. His name was Minato. I tried to convince him to sell me the village, but he refused. Then I tried to get him to leave the village and become my personal bodyguard. He refused saying that he could never leave his village and that he had a wife and they were expecting a child soon. He was so excited about the fact he would be a dad. He invited me to stay at his home for the duration of my stay. I accepted. I meet his wife, Kushina, and sure enough she was huge with child. That night as we were sleeping some ninja from some rock village broke in. They screeched nonsense about killing the yellow flash. Minato fought them and had beaten most of them when two snuck up behind Kushina and held knives to her neck and stomach. Minato froze and stared at the three. None of them noticed me as I snuck into a corner and used my wand to save Kushina. I immediately killed the rock nins. Minato ran up and caught his wife as she fainted. After taking her to the hospital he swore to me that he would do anything to thank me. I cleverly got him to take a blood oath saying that if I or any of my relatives were to call on him he would have to come and serve the one who called him just as a house elf would. Knowing that he may not survive till then I added that if he were to die before he could keep his oath his first born child, or the last child he had known contact with because I wasn't sure the child would survive long enough to be born, would take his place. He however was able to make a few conditions of his own. If it happens to be a child taken I wasn't allowed to keep him from his family. Meaning I had to let him return to them for annual visits. If they found any proof of the child being harmed it would be taken away from me. If it was him who came he got to visit his wife and child every few days. The last thing he snuck in while I wasn't looking and I never noticed it till I was home. The contract would expire after Twelve years. So you only have a few months to claim what is ours. Albus Dumbledore will help you. Don't waste this golden opportunity._

_Your uncle_

_Edward Malfoy_

_Edward Malfoy._

_P.S. I forgot to mention that whichever one you get will have to follow any order you give them as long as it doesn't interfere with the contracts conditions."_

"So headmaster Dumbledore when can we collect our inheritance?" Lucius asked.

"Well I tried to get it for you yesterday, however the new Hokage wasn't exactly handing him over. I do know that Minato is dead and the current Hokage, Tsunade, knows who you are supposed to have. She said his name but I can't recall what it was. However before I left I told her that I would return today with one or more of you so you could collect your item. She said that she would have the boy wait for us in the middle of the village. I don't think she will though. Last night she seemed to know it very well." Dumbledore sighed.

"Fine, Draco and I shall accompany you to fetch it. When shall we get it?" Lucius asked. The third person, a boy just entering his teens, with the same hair and eyes as his father, Lucius, and a green shirt with a silver snake on it, tight black jeans, and black and green vans on looked up when he heard he would be going as well.

"Whenever you're ready to go Lucius, Draco." Dumbledore said.

"Then let's get going. I would like to break it in by tonight." Lucius said with a smirk. Dumbledore grabbed both of there arms and they all disappeared.

Meanwhile back in Konoha Tsunade had woken up early and instantly remembered last night. She had to get Naruto as far away as she could. She had to send him someplace safe. She had to get something for her killer hangover.

"Damn my head hurts. Shizune!!" Tsunade yelled. Her dark haired assistant rushed into the room.

"Whats wrong Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked once she realized that her leader wasn't under attack.

"First off I need the strongest stuff you've got to get rid of hangovers, then I need cell seven, and finally I need a mission somewhere far away where you can hide a person and keep them safe." Tsunade said.

"W-whats going o-on?" Shizune asked fear making her stutter, not every little thing can upset Tsunade.

"I'll explain later. Right now just do as I asked. Dismissed." The blonde sighed. Shizune left to do as her mistress's asked and Tsunade noticed that she had a card left over from last night. She scratched it off and nearly screamed. She had won the jackpot. Something bad was gonna happen, something real bad. Shizune came back in and handed Tsunade a cup that she downed without a thought.

"Tsunade-sama there is a mission to Suna, but that's as good as I can find. Cell seven should be here soon. Well maybe not Kakashi-san, but the other three will be." Shizune reported.

"Not good enough they need to hurry and leave." Tsunade mumbled. She then got up and yelled out the window, "You stupid pervert if your not here in ten seconds all Icha Icha books will be banned!" Over half the male population of the village arrived in her office, including Jiraiya and Kakashi.

"Maybe you should have been more specific my lady." Shizune said trying to count the huge mob.

"Probably but I never thought to call Jiraiya so this is perfect. Now he'll be safe. All of you but Jiraiya and Kakashi get out of here and go back to being closet perverts. Dismissed." Tsunade ordered. Those guys didn't need to be told twice. In less then a second the unwanted people were gone.

"So Tsunade-sama what did you need us for?" Kakashi asked as he buried his nose in a certain orange book.

"Well you damn pervert we have a major crisis on our hands! There are a whole shit load of bastards coming to abduct one of my best shinobi and if you don't get him out of here soon we won't be able to do anything about it!" Tsunade yelled. Kakashi didn't even look up from his porn. The enraged hokage grabbed the book from him and tore it to pieces, then burned the pieces and threw the ashes out the window.

"Nooooo! I don't wanna live without my Icha Icha!" the distraught Kakashi yelled.

"Iruka will be sad you commit suicide." Tsunade said.

"Fine, for Dolphin-chan I'll stay strong!" Kakashi yelled striking a pose that was frighteningly similar to Gai's. Everyone shuddered.

"Ok you do that. Where the hell are those damn ginnin!?!" Tsunade screamed. As she was screaming the door opened and in walked two pissed, scared, and sleepy ginnin. A raven and a pinky.

"Here they are Hokage-sama. Uchiha, Haruno, and Uzu… hey where's Naruto?" Kakashi asked his charges. The two just shrugged. Then everyone felt a really scary aura. They all slowly turned to face it. Only to see Tsunade shaking from barely suppressed rage.

"Oh dear." Shizune whispered. Jiraiya decided to try and lighten the mood.

"Don't worry the kid probably decided to follow in Kakashi's footsteps and got lost on the road of life." The toad sage joked.

"Or he could be following your great example and he stopped at the women's bathhouse to do some research." The copy nin said while laughing.

"Hn, the idiot might have gotten himself captured." Sasuke said nonchalantly.

"Yea! Sasuke-kun is right! Knowing Naruto-baka it would be someone really weak too." Sakura instantly agreed with her dream boy. Shizune being the only smart one ran out of the room, with Tonton, as fast as she could. Tsunade snapped.

"You damn bastards! I know I just told two of you the situation, and you still joke around about one of our shinobi not showing up on time! You're all lucky I don't declare you traders and kill you on the spot!" Tsunade screamed at the extremely scared people.

"Ano…Tsunade what does the gaki being late have to do with that?" Jiraiya asked.

"Oh for the love of booze, Jiraiya put two and two together! He's the one they want! We must get him out of here! You five will be going to Gaara-sama's village. Gaara can keep him safe. First things first find him! Jiraiya you and emo boy search the north half of the village while Kakashi and the pink take the south. As soon as you find him start for Gaara's and send one of your summons out to the other group who will catch up with you. Ask them to show you there summon to prove that the other group is legit. Now, GO! GO! GO!" Tsunade shouted. The other four split up and ran off to find the loveable orange clad ninja.

Across the village from the Hokage Tower a blonde boy sat on the top of the Hokage Monument, the fourth's head to be precise. It was of course the blonde that everyone was looking for. You don't think so? Well how many other blonde boys do you see in Konoha, especially blonde boys with whisker marks, none. One of the reasons everyone was having trouble finding him was that he wasn't wearing his trademark orange clothing. He was wearing a red long sleeved shirt with black pants and his headband around his neck. He was just enjoying the view when suddenly three weird people appeared from nowhere in front of him.

**Story End**

Hari-hime: Well th-th-that's all folks!

Naruto: We hope you all enjoyed it…

Sasuke: I'm not saying this.

Hari and Naru grab the chainsaw and Barney dvd.

Sasuke: What I meant to say was…just like we enjoyed your company at this special time of year.

Ino-Shika-Cho: Spend this time with those most precious to you.

Gaara: And if you ended up on the naughty list for say jacking Santa's cookies do what I did write him a letter that says, "Dear Santa I'm writing to let you know I was naughty, and it was worth it you fat judgmental bastard!" Bwahahahaha.

-sniff- I just wanted some of Ha-chan's home baked cookies.

Hari-hime: KWAII! Take all the cookies Gaa-chan my cuddly wittle raccoon!-hands Gaara huge plate of cookies and Naruto huge bowl of ramen-

Everyone: MERRY CHRISTMAS! Or whatever you celebrate.

Neji: And God bless us everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

Hari-hime: Welcome! Back! Today is a very special day my BIRTHDAY!!! To celebrate I'm posting another chapter! Enjoy! This time Weasel-chan is gonna do the disclaimer!

Itachi: No I'm not.

Hari-hime: B-b-but I've wanted you to say it since forever! You would be perfe-

Itachi: While there is no doubt that I'm perfect, I refuse to do it.

Hari-hime: Fine I'll just get someone else to say it and give them the reward.

Itachi: Reward?

Hari-hime: Of course, this time it's a bucket of pocky.

Itachi: P-pocky? –drool-

Hari-hime: Yep, chocolate and strawberry.-smirk-

Itachi: **Disclaimer: the smart, beautiful, and generous Hari-hime regrettably does not own anything. If she did I'd have a never ending supply of pocky and be all creepy and big sistery to Sasuke, just to annoy him.**

Hari-hime: Good boy!-hands over bucket- Now usually I'd say lets begin but after last chapter we got a few questions, so we'd like to take this time to explain. Take it away Bug-chan!

Shino:…

Hari-hime: Take it away now and we'll watch A Bug's Life when this is over.

Shino: Well the answer the first question, why didn't he put something in that said how LONG the nin would have to serve the wizard, is two reasons. has to serve him like a house elf would, and correct us if we're wrong, but don't house elves serve there masters till they either die or till there set free? Reason 2. She didn't really think to put that in there. But give her a break she'd been up for like three days strait finishing last minute Christmas stuff. And yea knowing the Malfoy family they would probably wanna keep him till death. As for how they found Naruto so fast, magic, destiny, or just plain dumb luck, take your pick.

Hari-hime: Hehehe, I got Bug-chan to talk! Oh yea befores I forgets again here is the key for right now.

"RAMEN FLAVORED POCKY COOKIES!!!" the native language they speak there(right now Japanese)

"Uchiha men with long, pink hair" foreign language (right now English)

**"You win you're the bigger idiot"** my sexy Kyu-sama!(Kyuubi)

'The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard dies for his.' Thoughts

**Story start**

Quickly and quietly Naruto made two shadow clones and all three of them pulled out a kunai and held them to the wizards' throats. The wizards stiffened as they felt the cold metal.

"Alright I'm only gonna ask you this once so pay attention. Who are you and what is your business here. It better be good or our hands may just slip." Naruto said and pressed his kunai a little harder into the person's neck, making a thin blood trail.

"Even though its polite to give ones name before asking for someone else's I am Dumbledore Albus. The gentleman on my left is Malfoy Lucius, and to my right is his son Draco. I was actually aiming for the Hokage's office, but I guess I was a bit off." Dumbledore said.

"What do you want in Obaa-chan's office?" Naruto questioned. Dumbledore was gonna answer but Draco beat him to it.

"What the hell is he saying? Get this away from me you stupid freak!" Draco screamed as he started to struggle. Naruto got this really cute confused look on his face.

"Nani? Hey bastard speak normal. Is he a few kunai short of a set?" Naruto asked and Dumbledore laughed. Draco was getting more pissed by the second, and Lucius was trying and failing to hide his confusion.

"I can assure you that young Draco is perfectly normal. He and his father just don't speak Japanese. Perhaps I should make foreign language a new, required, class as well as physical education?" Dumbledore mussed.  
"Okay. Good luck with that. Now why do you wanna see Obaa-chan?" Naruto asked starting to seriously question these guys' mental states.

"Well assuming your Obaa-chan is Tsunade-sama it's about double S-rank secret stuff. You know super hush hush. However you look to be a fine young shinobi, so if you take us to her office right now I can probably convince her to let you help with this little mission of ours." Dumbledore said hoping if he could get the fierce women's grandson to help him then she would cave and just give the Malfoys the kid.

'As much as I hate the idea of slavery I can't break the wizards' oath. That doesn't mean I won't try to help the child, I'm just not sure how to help at the moment. This guy seems gullible enough to help.' Dumbledore thought.

"Professor Dumbledore would you please tell me why we are being held at knife point!" Lucius all buy screamed. He and Draco who were normally pale were now white as snow, or a certain pedo snake.

"Terribly sorry Lucius there was a small misunderstanding. I should have it cleared up in a moment. Apparently this is the Hokage's grandson. I'm trying to get him on your side and have him take us to his grandmother's office." Dumbledore explained to the scared death eater.

"Hey Dumbly-san are you lining to me!" Naruto yelled at the crazy old guy. He had just told him he would take him to Tsunade-obaa's office.

'Damn bastard doesn't even listen when I say I'll help him.' Naruto grumbled in his head.

**"Well then don't take him to see her. How do you know that this guys not like Oreo cookie in disguise. **(A/N: I always call Orochimaru weird names like that, and Oreo cookie is my favorite)**Beside if you go anywhere near Tsunade, one of your sense's or your team you'll have to work today. Our days off have been postponed for six weeks strait. There is no way we're going to work today!" **Kyuubi ranted.

'But Kyu-nii if I don't go to work I don't get paid, which means no money for bills.' Naruto protested.

**"One day off won't make any difference in what you earn baka! The asswipes in payroll give everyone the same amount each week. Look at it this way when you first become a ninja you get twenty ryo per mission, you got five. After finishing less missions then you the Uchiha brat makes eighty ryo per mission and you still make five. So missing a day can't hurt you. If you're still worried we can do extra missions tomorrow." Now tell them how to get to the old hags tower and go hide in the woods for a while."** Kyuubi commanded his kit, who sighed in defeat.

"Well see that really tall building over there that's where her office is. I'll take you to the front door but that's it." Naruto said as he dismissed his clones hesitantly. It seemed that they all had very low chakra signatures, ranging from academy student to new genin. So he put his kunai away, not feeling threatened enough to carry on the street. The three turned to look at him and he could tell by there eyes what kind of people they were. That made him a little nervous. The eldest mans eyes showed a good heart, but the other two showed malice and something else the blonde didn't know.

"Why you can't be much older then young Draco here. He's thirteen, now how old are you if you don't mind my asking?" Dumbledore asked. Now a good shinobi, who paid attention in class, and follows rules would probably tell him that he was getting a little personal but like Naruto paid attention to Iruka or follows rules.

"I'M ELEVEN BUT I'M GONNA BE TWELVE IN OCTOBER!!! OBAA-CHAN, ERO-SANNIN, AND IRUKA-SENSEI EVEN SAID THAT THEY'D SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH ME!!! AND KAKASHI-SENSEI SAID HE'D STOP IN AND HANG OUT FOR A FEW HOURS!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs then realizing what he'd just done he paled a bit. "Hehehe, I really gotta run now but just head for the tallest building and you should be fine. If you get lost the villagers should help you. Ja Ne." Naruto said over his shoulder as he tried to make a break for it. Note the word tried. Two very worried perverts, and two very angry genin arrived and two strong hands grabbed his shoulders. One was Kakashi's and the other was Jiraiya's

"Naruto-baka! Do you know how long we've been looking for you!?! Sasuke-kun and I didn't even get to look together! It's your entire fault you dumbass!" Sakura yelled bashing him on the head.

"Itai! Sakuwa-chan pwease don't hit me so hawd. I bwuise easiwy." Naruto said in a baby voice, combining it with his special teary puppy dog eyes no jutsu. No one can overcome this attack.

"Can't resist, to cute, must hug. KAWAII!" Sakura squealed just like my friends fair hog, except Baconstrip was cute and didn't make you wanna rip off your ears and poke out your eyes. She grabbed him in a way to tight hug. Everyone kinda just sat and watched as his face changed colors. Finally when he turned this weird mix between pink and green Sasuke pulled him out of her clutches. Sakura was about to yell at whoever dared to steal the cutie from her until she saw the glaring Sasuke, who might I add was holding the dazed little kitsune awfully close.

"We don't have time for you to kill the dobe. We have a mission to do." Sasuke said still keeping his arms firmly around Naruto's waist.

"Of course Sasuke-kun, let's get going." Sakura said.

"Stupid teme let me go. Whats this about a mission?" Naruto said turning to look at the two perverted ninja after he successfully escaped the Uchiha's grasp.

"Well gaki you, me, and the rest of your cell are going on a little mission to visit a certain raccoon friend of yours." Jiraiya said with a smile. Naruto started jumping up and down with excitement.

"Awesome that's just what I needed, belive it! It was super nice of Obaa-chan to give us a vacation, Dattebayo!" Naruto said excitedly.

"Well Naruto its actually going to be a mission I doubt you'll even see Gaara-sama that much, but look on the bright side you'll have us." Kakashi said expecting Naruto to pout and demand to get to see Gaara while they were there, that is if the blonde didn't realize he was kidding.

"So I won't get to see him at all?" Naruto asked and continued when Kakashi shook his head no. "Well then I respectfully decline this mission. Besides one unplanned mission on my day off is more than enough. So have fun, I gotta run." Naruto said as he took a step towards Dumbledore.

"What mission would that be Naruto? As captain of your squad I think I should know. Also who gave you the day off?" Kakashi asked placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"A little fox said I was working to hard and said to take the day off. As for the mission I am escorting these three to Obaa-chan's office. Somehow they ended up here when trying to get there." Naruto replied shrugging off the hand.

"Oh and who are they?" Jiraiya asked as everyone tuned to stare at the wizards.

"Well I am Dumbledore Albus. These gentlemen are Lucius and his son Draco." Dumbledore said, deliberately leaving out the Malfoy's last name.

"Right well sorry but Naruto is needed right now. Kakashi why don't you, Sasuke, and Sakura show them to the Hokage's office. You three can catch up with me and gaki afterwards." Jiraiya said his smile fading as soon as he heard the strangers' names.

'So that's Dumbledore eh. I'm guessing that the other two must be from the Malfoy clan. Well there is no way in hell there getting gaki. They came damn close though. How did they just happen to appear where he was? Tsunade said she let the brats name slip but that doesn't explain how he knew who the brat was, or how he found him.' Our lovable toad perv thought.

"Ero-sannin I told them I'd take them, and I don't go back on my word cause that's my nindo, my ninja way!" our favorite fox boy exclaimed.

**"Kit I think you should just go with your perverted sensei on this one." **Kyuubi advised.

'What! But nii-chan why? If I can't see Gaara why go to Suna, you know I hate it when it's too hot and the only reason I go is to see Gaa-nii.' Naruto complained to his demon.

**"I know kit you also hate it when it's too cold or too dry or too cold, or-" **Kyuubi started tobabble but Naruto cut him off.

'Kyu-nii, why don't you or scarecrow-sensei, or ero frog like these three. I mean I can understand the younger two but the oldest one doesn't smell evil' Naruto asked his demon.

**"You aren't as good as smelling people as me, obviously, or you would be able to smell that all three of them are up to no good. I haven't led you astray yet. Remember it was my idea to play the idiot." Kyuubi said a bit too smugly.**

'Hai, hai nii-chan I'll do my best to stay away.' Naruto promised.

"Naruto is your name? Why does that sound so familiar?" Dumbledore asked.

"Probably because fish cakes are very popular around here, or maybe you read my book where that was the main characters name, that's what gaki was named for ya know." Jiraiya said proudly.

"What I was named after some porn book! My life is so over. How will I live down the shame?" Naruto cried. Sakura bonked him on the head.

"Naruto you idiot! Don't say stuff like that you're embarrassing the whole village, right Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"Hn." Was the talkative Uchiha's response.

"Well this has been fun but its time for you six to see the hokage. We'll see you later." Jiraiya said as he started to walk down the monument.

"Okay Ero-sannin. Let's go see Gaa-chan!" Naruto shouted as he jumped off the head. The toad perv followed and soon they were both out of sight.

"Do you really think that we'll let you take our people?" Kakashi asked Dumbledore. The wizard looked a little surprised that he knew about that.

"Sir it would be in everyone's best interest if you did. By the way your acting I'm guessing you know who it is the Malfoys are to take. Why did you send little Naruto-kun away? He was very pleasant company. What is it your hiding, Kakashi-san was it?" Dumbledore asked.

"Naruto would be crushed if he found out that you were the people trying to take one of his best friends away. Sakura grab the shrimpy one, Sasuke you get the prissy man, and I got the old dude." Kakashi told his team. The ninja went to latch onto there targets but Dumbledore held up a hand to stop them.

"Before you take us anywhere let me explain this to my companions. I will also cast a translation charm on them so that they will be able to understand you." Dumbledore said, and at Kakashi's nod the old professor pulled out his wand and cast the charm.

"Albus what did you do!" demanded a furious Lucius.

"Calm yourself it was just a translation charm Lucius. I thought you and Draco would like to know what was being said." Dumbly smiled.

"Well now its time for you to see the undertak- I mean Tsunade-sama." Kakashi said with a smirk. He made sure that his students had one hand on there targets shoulders and the other on his. Placing one of his own hands on Dumbledore's shoulder he made some one-handed signs and transported them to Tsunade's office.

Tsunade was fidgeting nervously in her seat waiting for the toad that would tell her Naruto was safely in Suna, when suddenly her office was flooded with smoke. She didn't even bat an eyelash.

"Yo." Came a lazy voice from the smoke.

"Kakashi why are you three bake here instead of with Jiraiya and Naruto!?!" Tsunade demanded.

"Well Naruto ran into a trio of wizards. The one you met earlier and two gentlemen from the Malfoy clan." Kakashi said with a huge smirk under his mask.

"You were kind enough to bring them to me, arigato. You and your team now need to catch up with the other two. Leave us." Tsunade commanded. Her head was bent so you couldn't see her face, but by her voice you could trouble was coming. The remaining members of cell seven ran for it. "You decided to come back and play, not smart on your part I will never give him to you. He is far too important in our village. It would make everyone uneasy if they found out he was under someone else's control. Now time for your punishment for entering my village illegally. Kukukukuku!" Tsunade cackled. The wizards desperately wished they couldn't understand what she was saying. When she looked up and they saw her eyes they were sure that they could see there deaths.

**Story End**

Hari-hime: Well I hope you liked it!

Itachi: It was alright but when do I come in?

Hari-hime: The first of Octember!

Itachi: Just cause you can trick your brothers with that doesn't mean I can be fooled that easily.

Hari-hime: But its my birthday

Sasuke: A national day of regret and mourning.

Hari-hime: What was that –throws kunai that barley misses Sasuke's family jewels.

Naruto: Nice shot! Happy birthday! Do I hafta go with the creepy Malfoys?

Draco: Well it wouldn't be much of a crossover if you didn't idiot.

Naruto: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sasuke, Itachi, and Gaara: -chase Draco with chidori, the mangekyo sharingan, and lots of sand-

Hari-hime: -looks, laughs, eats chips-

Shino: If you feel the urge to tell her how much you loved, hated, liked, disliked this chapter feel free to review. Now I do believe you promised to watch a bug's life with me Ha-chan.

Hari-hime: Did I really? Okay then. This chapie wasn't so good but the next will be better, pinky swear. I was going for quantity not quality. Plus this had to happen. My rice crisppies said so. Ja Ne! ~,~


	4. Chapter 4

Hari-hime: Yo! What's up my duckies? Sorry about how long it's been since the last update. Report cards came out and obviously I didn't do so well. Plus I kinda forgot what I saved this under.

Sasuke: What kinda baka gets an F in history, science, and floral, and forgets where they save their story?

Hari-hime: Hey it wasn't my fault! They're out to get me! And I have like a bazillion folders with a gazillion documents in each one.

Naruto: Well it's a new quarter and you are gonna bring all your grades up and you won't forget where you saved this…right?

Hari-hime: Yep! New quarter!

Draco: I agree with you. You just saw that the work was beneath you and didn't do it. That's very Slytherin of you. But your memory was like a Gryffindor or worse a Hufflepuff.

Sasuke: Idiot all she did was make it so that she has to sneak around to type this. Then she couldn't even find it.

Hari-hime: See this is why I love 'tachi more then you! Can't you ever be nice?

Itachi: Ignore him. He's weak and lacks hate, waffle crisps, and a big ass neck band.

Hari-hime: Okay 'tachi, whatever you say. Draco make yourself useful and say the disclaimer.

Draco: A noble Malfoy reduced to this how tragic.

Sasuke: You wanna talk about tragic let me tell you my life story. –Sasuke, Draco, and Naruto (who was curious) walked over to a dark little emo corner-

Hari-hime: Now whose gonna do the disclaimer?

Itachi: Seeing how I'm perfect I guess I could. **Dis-**

Gaara: **Disclaimer: Hari-hime does NOT own anything! Got that she owns absolutely NOTHING!!! Got it? Good. Seriously if she owned anything would she have to sneak around to type this and would she forget where she saved it? I don't think so.**

Itachi: Jerk! I was gonna say that.

Gaara: To bad I already did. - Gaara and Itachi start to throw blocks at each other-

Hari-hime: Well you enjoy this chapter while I go enjoy their fight and Naruto beating up Sasuke and Draco for being cry babies.

Kisame: She also forgot to mention that this chapter is dedicated to her very good friends **Athoria Ahmmit(note she changes her name a lot so if you wanna read her stuff look for the Naruto story: ~****Debacle~ {and at the moment she forgets the other ones title, but its in death note} or ask Hari-hime)**** and XxSmokexSignalsxX**

Hari-hime: Did I seriously forget to put the dedication to Yuki-kaa and Sasu-chan in? Whoops! Well this ones for you mommy and otouto dearest. And remember if we just sneak up behind the stupid P.E. teacher bitch with a shovel and start swinging…

Tobi: That's not nice. You're not a good girl, but Tobi is. Yep Tobi's a good girl…I mean boy! Tobi's a good boy not girl, boy, see!?! –Lifts up cloak and pulls down pants.-(A/n: that's just for you Mumsie Chouji)

Everyone:-shock-

Sai: Wow your cock is smaller than dickless's, lets start the actual story.

**Story Start**

"Hey Ero-sannin I need to get something before we can go." Naruto said as soon as he deemed them far enough away from the others.

"Oh no you don't gaki. We already went and got some stuff from your apartment." Jiraiya said tossing a sack to the younger male. The blonde caught it easily and smiled at the old pervert.

"Okay I'll just go change then." Naruto said happily. Jiraiya stared at him like he was mental.

"What the hell is wrong with what you're wearing now? For once I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you." The almighty toad hermit said bluntly.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean? Never mind, you brought my jumpsuits right Ero-sannin?" The cute wittle blonde asked.

"Hm, jumpsuits you mean those orange monstrosities you call clothes? Don't worry we took care of them." Jiraiya said with a smirk. Naruto paled a bit at the look in the old (-ish) man's eyes.

"When you say took c-care of y-y-you d-don't mean…?" Naruto said voice failing him at the end.

"Bwahahahahahahaha! Hai Naruto that's exactly what I mean. We burnt them all, and then spread the ashes far away." The big meanie said. (A/N: I love Naru's jumpsuit, but it seems like I'm one of the few who do. Are the rest of you crazy? )

"Nooooo! Why cruel world? What the hell do you expect me to wear Ero-baka?" Naruto demanded as he rummaged through the bag in the vain hope that Jiraiya was pulling his leg.

**"Relax kit. You didn't really like it anyway. If they went into your closet that means that…"** Kyuubi said.

'Oh shit. They'll make me wear the other stuff.' Naruto thought his fear realized when he confirmed what was in the bag given to him.

"I don't see why you would ware those eyesores you call clothes when you got all these other outfits. Sure there a bit dark and gloomy for you, but people often dress in colors that are totally opposite from there personality." Jiraiya chatted. (A/N: That's true. I know this really awesome chick that's dark and kinda morbid but she always wares pink and yellow.)

"Well Ero-sannin maybe you just aren't looking underneath the underneath. If we're seriously going to Suna I have to make a few stops. I'll meet at the gate in ten minutes. See ya." Naruto said taking off in a random direction.

"Well I guess the kid can't get into any trouble while Tsunade has the wand geeks. I think I'll use this time to go do some research." The world famous porn writer said skipping towards the bathhouse.

Meanwhile in the Hokage's office…

"What do you think you're gonna do, woman?" Lucius sneered as Tsunade cracked her knuckles and chuckled darkly.

"Oh how I was hoping you would ask." Tsunade said darkly. "Well first I was thinking that I would go down to that ramen stand Naruto's always talking about and have a bowl of that ramen that's supposed to help you lose weight. Then I was thinking of sneaking off to that little gambling village just south of here. Oh and since Jiraiya's gone I'll stop by the bathhouse for a bit of Tsunade quiet/alone time. After that off to get my daily sake. Oh yeah and then I'll come get you from Anko and Ibiki's torture chambers and have some fun with my own torture techniques." Tsunade finished sweetly. The wizards went from scared to confused to scared again at the woman's fickle manner.

'OMG! She's a loon! I got us trapped in an office with some fucked up in the head crazy bitch!' was one of the many thoughts going through Albus's head.

"Like hell I'll allow myself to be tortured. Women you can give me my slave or-." Lucius started but Albus smartly cut over him hoping to save their lives.

"What he means is that since it's such a long way home and he wants the boy to feel comfortable in his new home. It would be best if you sent him with us now. Think about it he will be well fed, have his own room, nice clothes, and he surely can make new friends. Just send him with us." Albus pleaded his case,

"Dude seriously? You want me to give you one of my most precious people, one that's still a child, and that spewl is the best you can come up with to convince me? Here he has access to his favorite food at all times, who cares about having your own room when he has his own home, and he may not have the most fashionable clothes but what he does have he somehow manages to make look good, and while there is no doubt what so ever in my mind that he could make new friends he would kill and be killed for the ones he has now so put that in your pipe and smoke it bitch." Tsunade huffed. Draco rolled his eyes at their, mainly Tsunade's, childish behavior.

"Pardon me but perhaps we could make a little wager, say we win you give us the boy and if you win we'll…" Draco said trailing off not knowing what he was willing to give these savages.

"We'll hire several of your ninja for a very easy mission, around D to C-rank, for the price of an S-ranked mission." Dumbledore supplied when the younger Malfoy hesitated. Tsunade smirked widely. Being infamous for her love of gambling. However she also knew she was the easiest person to beat in a bet and that even when she won she lost.

"What kind of wager?" Tsunade asked, carefully eyeing the wizards in turn.

"Well let's play a game like chest." Lucius suggested.

"Hehehe, fine with me. Pick your player while I have someone fetch mine. Oh and once he gets here everyone will of course have to sign a contract stating that they agree to it." Tsunade said pouring herself some of what she called her anti-anger drink, or what most people strangely referred to as hard liquor. "Shizune!" the hokage yelled.

"Hai Tsunade-sama?" the brown haired women said walking in with a huge first aid kit in he hands. "Oh there isn't even a scratch on them. I guess I got this for nothing." Shizune sighed in relief.

"I need you to fetch me Nara A.S.A.P." the hokage says as she casually chugs the beer strait from the bottle.

"Which one?" Shizune asks with a sweat drop.

"Hm, oh well I guess Shikamaru would be good, but if you can't find him any of the Nara clan will do. There all smart." Tsunade said her cheeks steadily turning pink as her alcohol intake swiftly increased.

"Hai my lady." Shizune replied bowing and exiting the room.

"Now as for you little shits you're gonna shut the fuck up and tell me why I shouldn't kill you right here and now, and why you can't let one innocent child live his life as a free person." Tsunade snapped at the confused wizards.

While the poor wizards were trying to figure out how to answer the drunk hokage while keeping quite a certain boy was sitting staring at the clouds with one of his best friends.

"You were right. The hokage monument is the best place to watch the clouds from." Shikamaru said in his lazy drawl while his eyes went from staring at the clouds to his friend.

"I told you so Shika." Naruto calmly replied.

"So, Naruto, what are you trying to avoid?" the ever lazy shinobi asked.

"Work. What else?" Naruto said with a smile.

"Well no duh, but what kind?" The Nara persisted.

"Well baa-chan wants me to go on a mission to Suna, and usually I'd be all for that, but I won't get to see Gaara so I don't wanna go. Plus I had plans with Iruka-sensei for tonight and tomorrow. Oh that reminds me I gotta go meet him! I'll see you around Shika!" Naruto called as he jumped up and ran off.

"Tch, so troublesome. I wonder why he was in such a rush? Iruka would wait for him." The pineapple head said to himself just as Shizune came into sight.

"Nara-kun you're needed in the Hokage's office right away." She gasped out of breath from running around the whole village looking for Shikamaru. Shikamaru sighed and followed Shizune.

'Naruto what's going on with you?' he thought with one last look at the clouds.

"Oh yeah baby just bend your back a little more. That's the ticket." Was what Kakashi heard while he, Sakura, and Sasuke ran as fast as they could trying to catch up with the toad summoning duo. They followed the sound and weren't surprised to find Jiraiya peeping on the women's bathhouse.

"Jiraiya-sama, where pray tell is Naruto?" A livid Sasuke seethed at the pervert.

"Oh shit. It's been past ten minutes. Okay how far could he have gotten in an hour?" Jiraiya asked aloud, slightly panicking. 'Tsunade will kill me if she finds out I lost him.' He took a look at Sasuke who just screamed untimely death. 'If the Uchiha-gaki doesn't beat her to it.'

"So let me see if I got this strait. Even after Tsunade-sama told us the situation, and even though we came across the threat you wandered away to peep on women and left Naruto alone?" Kakashi whispered dangerously. Jiraiya gulped at the sight of one of his biggest fans turned into potential murderer.

"Listen, we can either sit here blaming each other, or we can go find our gaki. Now I don't know about you, but I want to know that my student and fellow shinobi is safe. Who's with me?" Jiraiya tried hopefully. He received three heated death glares and several good smacks on the head curtsey of a pink haired ninja.

"Let's get a move on. We don't have time to waste on this pervert. The dobe could have gotten himself killed in an hour." Sasuke said as the three members of team seven ran off, shortly followed by a black and blue toad sage. 'Don't worry Naruto we'll be there soon.' Thought the team.

As the team searched for the blonde Shikamaru and Shizune had arrived at Tsunade's office and what they saw amazed them. The three wizards were doing the chicken dance while Tsunade sat at her desk laughing just a bit too loudly, her cheeks a bit to rosy, and a partially full bottle of rum held precautiously in her hand.

"Ah man this is way too troublesome. She's so drunk that she's making our clients act like a bunch of idiots. I say we come back in a few hours." Shikamaru said as he leaned up against the wall.

"Tsunade-sama Shikamaru-kun is here. Oh and I brought you some lottery tickets." Shizune said holding up said tickets. Tsunade rushed over and grabbed them.

"Finally! I need to make sure we don't have any bad omens." Tsunade said scratching one off. "Okay I lost so it's safe to proceed. Nara Shikamaru, one of your friend's future depends on what you are about to do so don't you dare lose. The question I'm about to ask could save them or screw them…how well can you play chess?" Tsunade asked deadly serious while everyone else sweat dropped.

"Ch. Troublesome women. I'm alright at it, but I prefer Go or Shogi, they're harder. Why?" Shikamaru asked raising an eyebrow.

"Because, because I'm the hokage and when I ask a question you answer no matter what. Got it punk? You will be playing chess with one of these fine gentlemen to decide whether or not one of your graduating class will be taken as a slave." Tsunade said playful mood evaporating at the end.

"Wait a second, you agreed to have me play a game of chess to decide if one of my close friend's, possibly teammate's, freedom will be lost or not when you didn't even know if I could play chess?" Shikamaru inquired.

"Mm Yea pretty much. If you have a problem with how I run things you could take it up with my good friend here." Tsunade said raising a fist.

"No thanks getting killed would be too troublesome. Lets just get this game over with." The Nara sighed. Dumbledore quickly conjured a table and two chairs with a chess board and set all ready. Shikamaru took one of the seats and looked expectantly at the three wizards. "Well which one of you is gonna play me?" He finally asked irritably. The three wizards eyed one another.

"Draco you do it, he's about your age so it will be a fairer game." Lucius drawled. Draco nodded and sat in the other seat. Then Tsunade smirked a smirk that put the Hyuuga's, Uchiha's, Orochimaru's and even Santa's to shame.

"Bwahahahaha! No one can beat Shikaku!" Tsunade drunkenly screamed waving around a bottle. Shizune and Shikamaru sighed at the hokage's mistake. How the hell did someone like her get the hokage job again?

"No Tsunade-sama this is Shikamaru-san. Now be a good hokage and sit in your seat." Shizune said as she gently guided, coughforcefullypushedcough, Tsunade to her chair.

"Shizune I'm not a child. Now before we begin I need everyone in the room to sign the contract." Tsunade said pulling out a scroll with the deal already written on it. She poked her thumb with a senbon and signed the contract with blood, before passing it to Shizune who did the exact same thing before giving it to Shikamaru.

"What the hell haven't you ever heard of aids!?!" Draco screeched as he stared at the bloody paper in Shikamaru's hands.

"Hokage-sama, I kinda don't feel right about this. If someone's gonna make a gamble with this person's life shouldn't it be them? Don't you think that they would want to be able to do this themself?" Shikamaru said hesitating. The hokage sighed and looked at the wizards sternly.

"If I pull out a photo to show him what he's fighting for can I trust you to not try to look?" She asked twirling the senbon between her fingers that were itching to through it at them. The Lucius sneered at her like she was a fool, Dumbledore of course politely nodded, and surprisingly so did Draco after a few minutes. 'Well there may be hope for this Malfoy clan yet if this boy can keep the good streak in him.' Tsunade thought as she waved Shikamaru over. Once the young shinobi was standing next to her she opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out a photo and showed the lazy chunnin. She pointed at something in the picture and Shikamaru gasped while giving her a questioning glance. She solemnly nodded at him before placing the photo back in the drawer and closing it, all the while never letting the wizards catch a glimpse of it. The photo had been of Naruto, Iruka, and Shizune during the last Haru Hoshi Festival. They were all in cute kimonos and all three had a giant plushie, fox, dolphin, and pig respectably. She, Kakashi, and Jiraiya had all insisted that they could win the biggest prize at the water squirt game. The three had resorted to using a few well placed jutsus to ensure themselves victory. They were worse for ware but they had attracted so many people to the game that the owner let each of them have a prize. Kakashi of course spotted the dolphin and gave it to Iruka, and Jiraiya saw the pig and in one of his rare gentleman moments got it for Shizune, and she got the fox for Naruto cause she had seen him eyeing it and the only reason she challenged the other two was so she could get it for him. It was easy enough to tell who they were after in the photo but she had pointed at Naruto all the same. Shikamaru sliced his thumb open and wrote his name on the contract his face no longer bored but deadly serious. As he handed it to Dumbledore.

"My dear is our word so worthless that we really must slice open our fingers?" Dumbledore asked Tsunade with twinkling eyes as he poked his own finger and neatly wrote his name down.

"The more we talk the more I'm sure that it isn't necessary from you Dumbledore-san, however I find it hard to trust your associates when they want to take one of my few precious ones from me. Besides if a couple of delicate ladies and a child like us can do it, it shouldn't be so hard for you boys right?" Tsunade asked her own eyes sparkling. Lucius regrettably poked his finger and signed with Draco following his fathers shining example of squealing when he saw the blood. The nins smirked maliciously as Tsunade took the signed contract from Draco.

"Well I do believe that means we can now begin. So good lads shall we?" Dumbledore asked getting way to much pleasure out of this.

"As you wish headmaster. I should have this wrapped up soon father so don't get to comfortable." Draco said with the oh so adorable smirk that just makes you wanna go up and punch him in the mouth on his face.

"Tch, it's too troublesome to argue. I'll prove my point on the board." Shikamaru said with a yawn.

"Well then we'll see won't we you filthy little mudblood." Draco sneered as he retook his seat. The two boys glared at each other before starting there match to decide all, dun, dun daaaaa!!!!!

As they began to fight over a certain blonde kitsune said fox boy was at the academy sitting on his swing, waiting for Iruka's class to let out. He could see the students parents staring (coughglaringcough) at him, and whispering cruel words. He tried his hardest to just ignore them.

"Hey look it's the demon. Wasn't it bad enough that he ruined the Uchiha's school career, now he has to come and ruin our kids lives as well?" said a random women to her friend, rather loudly. Naruto looked down and tightened his grip on the swing.

"Why don't we just go over there and rid the village of the beast?" the women's friend said just as loudly. Naruto's grip tightened even more as he heard the parents start to walk towards him. As he was tensing for an attack little kids exploded from the academy and rushed to their parents who rushed them away from the 'monster.' The blonde was even more down hen before and started to lightly kick at the dirt. He wanted to be sure that all the kids were gone before he went to meet his former sensei. As he was making small patterns in the dirt someone came up behind him. He was afraid that he was going to be hit, but he didn't even move. The person grabbed onto the swing and pulled it, and thus him back before letting him fly forwards. Then this odd person started to push him higher and higher. The blonde turned his head to see that it was Iruka pushing him and couldn't help but smile at him.

"Ohayo Iruka-sensei! When did you get here? I was gonna come in, in a few seconds." The kitsune said with a giggle as Iruka pushed him even higher.

"Hi Naruto! I know but its been forever since we just had fun like this. I don't think you mind. You weren't getting very high on your own. I remember how little Naru used to love it when his big strong Ruka would push him." Iruka said with a teasing smile.

"Yeah when I was like five. As much as I really do enjoy this Ruk-I mean Iruka-sensei we do have plans don't we? We promised. You and me camping for two days just the two of us, so let's hurry and go. I don't want anything to ruin it." Naruto said jumping off the swing and twirling to face Iruka. The chunnin gave a small laugh as he walked over to the blonde and slung his arm around the younger's neck.

"Well do we have time to stop for ramen before we leave on this trip?" Iruka asked steering them in Ichiraku's direction. Naruto pulled him towards the woods the opposite way.

"Sorry sensei but I stopped before we met up." The blonde said rubbing the back of his head apologetically. Iruka frowned a bit but instantly cheered up again.

"Well then since we both have our packs lets get going! Off on an adventure!" the burnet said with a smile as they set off towards the woods and their secret camping spot. As they were about to enter the woods two things jumped onto Naruto, and knocked him down.

"Yo nii-san! Jiraiya's been freaking out since you disappeared." One of the things said as it bounced on his stomach. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be the toad summon Gamakichi.

"Yeah Kakashi has been that way too. Even when I offered to let him rub my paws he didn't calm down." Said the other thing that turned out to be Pakun. There was a chorus of croaks and howls of agreement. That was about the time Iruka and Naruto noticed the toads and dogs all lined up as far as they could see to both sides.

"Ohayo guys. What's with all of you and how long does this line go on?" Naruto asked jumping around while trying to see the line's end.

"It surrounds the entire village. We were told to find you and then contact Jiraiya and Kakashi." The two summons said in almost creepy unity. Then all of them started to make a shit load of noise.

"Fuck man! Can you shut up?" Naruto screamed as loud as he could, but to no avail.

"Naruto let's just go somewhere else! I don't think they're gonnaahhh!" Iruka yelled ending in a yelp as someone pinched his ass.

"Nice ass Umino." The person said as he wrapped his arms around Iruka's waist and buried his face in his hair.

"Kakashi-sensei stop molesting Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said pointing an accusing finger at Iruka's assailant. Kakashi barley raised his head to give Naruto a semi serious glare before he turned his head and started kissing the chunnin's neck.

"Stop it you horn dog. Naru-chan cover your virgin eyes! Damn it Kakashi no sex for a month!!!" Iruka yelled while blushing like crazy. The animals finally stopped screaming when Jiraiya and the rest of team seven showed up.

"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto. You made us have to run around the whole village looking for you twice in one mother fucking day!!! I'll kill you bitch!" the hideous ball of pink stupidity screeched lunging at the blonde.

"Dobe we were worried don't do that again." Sasuke said pulling Naruto into one of those funny one armed guy hugs, thus making Sakura fall flat on her face. "Hn Sakura a ninja should have more grace then to fall like that." Our beloved, but still not as uber awesome as his nii-san, Uchiha smirked as he started rubbing Naruto's arm.

"Ne, ne Sasu-teme let go. Sakura-chan are you alright?" the kitsune asked pulling himself free and offering a hand to the fallen girl. (**A/N:** We think) She smacked it away with a glare and then looked up at Sasuke with hopeful eyes. He of course ignored her in favor of staring at Naruto's ass. Sakura sighed and stood up.

"Well as great as this is for my yaoi series we really need to be going so say by to your fuck toy so we can leave. Preferably before Tsunade finds out we're still here…" Jiraiya said with shifty eyes, almost expecting Tsunade to jump out and pumble him.

"A fuck toy!?! Is that all I am to you? Kakashi I hate you and never wanna see you again. Furthermore I refuse to let my baby be taught by someone like you. I'm going to have the hokage switch Naruto to a different team. If I have to I'll train him myself. But you Hatake-san will not be near him or me unless it's mission related. Naruto we're leaving." Iruka said grabbing the blonde's wrist and disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"Huh? Was it something I said?" the sweet, but not so bright toad hermit asked. Two very sinister auras came from behind him.

"How dare you call my Iru-koi a fuck toy!?! He is my one and only love! And now you've gone and gotten him pissed at me! He means more to me then life itself; I won't tolerate you insulting him. Prepare yourself!" Kakashi said pulling out a kunai.

"No more usuratonkachi on my team? No more seeing my dobe everyday? No more making sure the one I love is safe during missions? No more feeling up my Naru-chan during training!?! Jiraiya prepare to die!!!" Sasuke said as he charged the pervy sage with a chidori in hand.

"Sasuke-kun if you love me you'll stop!" Sakura cried out in her oh so annoying way. Of course Sasuke, along with Kakashi continued to charge the terrified porn writer.

"Can you believe him!?! Calling me a fuck toy! I really thought he loved me. Never trust men Naru-chan, they only break your heart. Horrid lying scoundrels, the lot of them!" Iruka fumed pacing his small classroom, tears in his usually happy, caring eyes.

"Ruka…I think that ero-sannin was just screwing around. You know how he is, a super insensitive porn writer. As much as I hate to say it, Kakashi really loves you and you two belong together. I would hate to see you break up with him and be sad just because Jiraiya's an idiot. Besides I don't wanna switch teams, I like getting to be with teme." Naruto said from his place on the couch.

**"Oh sounds like you got bit by the bug kit."** Kyuubi snickered inside his jailor.

'What do you mean nii-chan, I haven't even been anywhere near Shino lately?' Naruto asked the old fluffball. Said fluff face was spared having to answer when Iruka pounced on the boy giving him a big old bear hug.

"Arigato Naru-chan!!! Your right Kashi would never do that. We love each other. I'll have to apologize to him soon. But first I insist on feeding you, and something besides ramen." Iruka said letting go of the boy and walking into the kitchen to start cooking, after giving Naruto a stern look.

"Hai tou-san." Naruto whispered pouting, not noticing the smile that appeared on Iruka's face at the worlds.

"What the fuck Nara I thought you were suppose to be a genius! How the hell did this happen!" An enraged Tsunade screamed.

"Tch, give me a break no one wins a hundred percent of the time. Besides I didn't exactly plan on my pieces being smashed as soon as his got in range. I still say that we should have got new pieces and started over." Shikamaru mumbled under his breath.

"Well I'm sure that we can all agree that it was interesting." Dumbledore said with a smile as he took a sip of the tea that he had conjured up about half way through the match.

"Well get your asses outta my village this instant." Tsunade yelled at the wizards.

"I think not they tied." Lucius sneered at the very scary when pissed hokage.

"A tie ain't beating him, now is it." Tsunade seethed, sending the elder Malfoy a look that made him glad such things couldn't kill.

"Well then that means that you didn't win either. The only logical thing to do is-." Draco started to say but was cut off.

"Is to compromise. That is to say we'll have that group of ninjas do the easy mission and you'll send the child with them. If the Malfoys are able to correctly guess who they are after before the old deal expires then they get to keep him, but if not then he returns home with the rest once the mission is over. That seems to be acceptable for both parties, yes?" Dumbledore asked, eyes twinkling just so.

"My lady you aren't really going to agree to this insane deal are you?" Shizune pleaded with her mistress.

"Lady hokage I think it's our best option. As long as you send the right people with him and you make them sign another contract binding them to this deal." Shikamaru said with a thoughtful, far off look in his eyes.

"Given the circumstances I have no choice but to agree with Shikamaru-kun. We'll except your terms, but all of you must sign a new contract." Tsunade said already pulling out a scroll and starting to write out there new agreement. They all went through the long but hilarious process of signing the scroll again.

"Well my deer shall you call him in?" Dumbledore asked pleasantly. Tsunade gave him a considering look then sighed.

"Fine. Shizune show them to a room they can wait in while I call in a team." Tsunade said taking a swig of her equivalent to my happy juice. (A/N: How sad we're both addicts lol)

"Oh my dear not too many of course. Also we should really limit those older then thirteen to fourteen. Maybe three or four adults." Dumbledore said in his cheerful way as Shizune led them out of the room before the hokage could snap.

"Hokage-sama I want in." Shikamaru stated bluntly causing the poor sannin to choke on her liquor.

"W-what? You do realize that this is a very high classed mission, and now thanks to that old codger we can only send a few upper leveled ninja with you?" Tsunade asked the young pineapple headed cloud watcher.

"Hai Lady Tsunade. That's why I have to be there. I'm one of the smartest of my age group, and more importantly he and I are close friends. So I think me and the rest of the rookie twelve are good choices. Well maybe not Sakura, Ino, or Hinata." Shikamaru mused just itching to sit in his thinking pose.

"Oh really? What makes you say that?" Tsunade asked curiously.

"Sakura would only focus on Sasuke, and has an explosive temper. Ino has the same problems, just not as bad. Hinata's a sweet girl, but she's still getting over her crush on Nar-her crush on him. And she still blushes like mad and faints around him. Plus she has been acting funny towards another guy lately." Shikamaru reported boredly. Tsunade nodded her head in understanding.

"Well I understand I guess. However I think this would be a good thing for those girls. I noticed you didn't mention Tenten." Tsunade remarked as she gently stroked Tonton's ears.

"That would be because her only annoying obsessions are weapons and some dude named Sai. Half the time she complains that he's a pervert, then the other half she goes on about what a sensitive, artistic fella he is. Girls are troublesome, but she minimizes the trouble." Shika said nodding sagely at the slug sage.

"Huh fine, if it's that important to you I can let you go on this mission. I'll also have the people you recommended. Now be a peach and go fetch Teams, 8, 9, and 10 for me, oh and get Iruka too. That's all now scoot." Tsunade said waving her hand dismissively. Shikamaru left to do as he was told and Tsunade sent a summon to Suna to tell them to send Naruto and the others back.

"What makes you think he would come here?" Sakura asked her close to tears sensei. He turned to look at her with his one visible teary eye.

"Because we've looked everywhere else he would go, well besides the Hokage Tower. We've searched both of there apartments, the Hokage Mountain, the academy, we even searched their favorite training grounds. So logic leads me too believe that they must be here. Why we didn't look here first still escapes me. I mean where else would they go, The park to feed the birds and get ice cream? I don't think so. My dolphin-koi is here, I can feel it." Kakashi said in a strained voice. The group walked in to see old man Ichiraku and his daughter just sitting staring out at there empty stand. Their eyes lit up when they saw Kakashi.

"Ohayo Kakashi-san have you by chance seen Naruto-kun or Iruka-sensei today?" The ramen stand people asked.

"Ohayo Ayame-chan, Ichiraku-san. Have you seen Iruka-sensei or Naruto yet today?" Kakashi asked at exactly the same time. Both groups looked a little down at the other group's reply. Kakashi's tears finally fell and if anyone had cared to look they would've seen a sniffling Sasuke.

"You were right Iruka-sensei! Going to the park to feed the birds is a great way to kill time." Naruto said as he happily tossed some more crumbs out.

"See told you. Now eat your ice cream before it melts." Iruka said with a laugh, as he ate his own cookie dough cone. At that instant both of them sneezed before looking at each other and laughing.

"Some pretty girls must be talking about us!" They were able to get out before being taken over by giggles.

Shikamaru was walking through the park on his way to his team's training ground when he heard what sounded like Iruka-sensei and someone else giggling.

'Since I have to get him anyways it would be too troublesome to find him again after this.' He thought to himself as he went to investigate the sound. He found Iruka-sensei and to his surprise Naruto, giggling like school girls with ice cream and bred crumbs in their hands.

"Iruka-sensei! Tsunade-sama needs you in her office now. Naruto you should probably go too. But first we have to gather up the rest of the rookie twelve, and no Iruka-sensei, you and Kakashi-sensei were the only sensei she wanted. Oh and Anko-sensei, but she doesn't really count as a sensei." Shikamaru said in a lazy drawl as he walked over to the other two.

"No! Today is just for me and sensei! No one else gets to take him from me today!" Naruto shouted at the Nara as he clutched Iruka tight.

"It's ok Naruto. You and I can spend the day together after the hokage finishes with us." Iruka soothed, petting the blonde's head.

"Promise?" said blonde almost purred out.

"Promise." Iruka confirmed with a soft smile.

"Alright Iruka-sensei why don't you get team eight, I get my team and Naruto can get team nine. Meet at the hokage's office in ten minutes." Shikamaru said walking off once he was sure they'd heard him. After another few seconds the other two went to find their target too.

"I give up. There's no other choice. It was nice knowing you all. I LOVE YOU IRUKA!!! EVEN THOUGHT I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF SHADOWS I SHALL FEAR NO TSUNADE!!!" Kakashi cried waving his arms around dramatically. Jiraiya promptly bonked him on the head.

"Be quiet baka!" the older pervert hissed. "If we keep quiet we can push ducky and pinky in there to take the blame." Jiraiya whispered jabbing a thumb in Sasuke and Sakura's direction. The two were glaring death at him. Sakura was about to attempt to get away with murder when they heard it.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!! MY YOUTHFUL BLOSSOM OF YOUTHFUL YOUTHNESS!!! IN YOUR YOUTHFUL RUSH TO GET STARTED ON THE BIG, NEW, YOUTHFUL MISSION YOU MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT WE ARE ALL SUPPOSE TO GO TO TSUNADE-SAMA'S OFFICE!!!" A very hyper and youthful voice yelled. Sakura paled as she saw a figure in green spandex running towards her. "HOW ABOUT WE SHOW THE WORLD ARE YOUTHFUL LOVE WITH A KISS!?!" was all Sakura heard before she passed out. As the figure got closer there was a poof of smoke and the Rock Lee in spandex turned into Neji in his normal attire.

"Neji!?! What the hell!?!" Sasuke gasped, jaw hanging. A bunch of laughter could be heard from around the corner, and the rest of the rookie twelve along with Iruka walked out all busting up.

"That's what you get for being a bitch…Dattebayo." Neji said glaring at Sakura.

"Dude what'd she do to piss him off so badly?" Kiba asked, Akamsku barking in curiosity. Tenten walked over and cupped her hands over his ear.

"Well the other day she was saying that Neji had girly hair, and then she had the balls to say that it was almost as pretty as hers. I almost feel bad for her." Tenten gossiped in a some what fake sympethetic tone. The dog boy sighed on the pinkettes stupidity. Then a certain blonde started to roll on the floor laughing unconrolably.

"Naruto!!! You're here!!! Which means I'm safe!!! I mean you're safe, which means I'll live to peep again!!! Now lets get the fuck outta here bitches. If Tsunade catches us here that crazy slug bitch will-." Jiraiya was saying but was interupted when a fist came flying through a wall and into his face.

"Why are you guys still here? Although I was going to call you back for this mission anyways, I do believe I sent you all to Suna. I already sent a message to Gaara asking for you to return." Tsunade was complained. Just as she finished in a swirl of sand appeared the sand sibs. "Well shit was else can go wrong?" the hokage sighed rubbing her temples.  
"Hokage-sama we recived your letter about sending Uzumaki's team back, however they never reached our village. We came to help search for hi-I mean them. We request the assistance of Hyuuga Neji, Nara Shikamaru and Aburame Shino. We'll leave as soon as they arrive." Gaara stated not noticing the others, who by now were looking at him like a loon.

"Eh Gaara what'ch talking about I'm right here. So the rest of the team. Sorry we didn't get there, but you see me and Iruka-sensei had plans and I thought if I was gone long enough that they would just leave without me. Not that I don't love visiting you, but we'd been planning this for like ever so erm a yeah." The blonde boy said nervously scratching the back of his head. Gaara turned to look at him with emoutionless eyes.

"It's fine, we all make istakes. I'm just glad to see you all safe." Gaara said in his equally emoutionless voice. The kitsune gave him a lopsided grin and flung his arm around the red heads neck.

"Next time we go camping you gotta go with us. It would be so awesom, dattebayo!" Naruto shouted pumping his fist in the air.

"Howeer right now he, along with all the other Konoha nins gathered here have a mission. He can visit with you later." Tsunade said, being a kill joy.

"Awww! Baa-chaaaaaan! Can't Gaa-chan come to? Pwease?" The blonde kitsune begged using his puppy eyes no jutsu. Tsunade held strong. For about a second, then folded. Like you could do any better.

"Rawr! Fine if he's free Gaara may join you." Tsunade said in a voice that clearely stated that she thought it was a bad idea.

"So let me get this strait this lazy bum Shikamaru's going?" Temari asked eyeing the shadow user.  
"Bug boy Shino's going too?" Kankaro piped up as he subtley began to move closer to said bug boy. At the hokage's nod both turned to Gaara with pleading eyes.

"CAN WE GO? PLEASE CAN WE GO PLEASE!?!?!" the two screamed dropping to their knees in front of the raccoon boy. Gaara made a big show of pretending to think about it.

"The Hyuugas will be going as well?" he asked a miniscule bit of curiosity in his voice.  
"Hinata-chan and Neji-kun? Of course." Tsunade said a bit confused.

"Well then we would love to assist on this mission." Gaara said in a just noticeable happy voice.

"Yeah, everone just get in my office. I'll have to get Shizune to get somone to fix that wall." The old drunkard said thoughtfully as she steped through the wall she'd broken. The others followed at a sfe distance. When they were all in they noticed three other males were already in the room. "These…genlemen…are the clients. They hired you for a year long mission. Dumbledore-san will explane it too you." Tsunade said taking her seat and gesturing to the eldest man. Albus gave a small wave and a twinklely eyed smile.

"Hey you're those guys from earlier! I'm glad you got here alright. Hehehe bet you weren't exspecting to see me again." Naruto shouted at them.  
"Ah it's nice to see you again. With you along I know the mission will be a success." The headmaster said smiling at the kitsune. "Anyways, you will be coming to protect our school and all who reside in it. Most of you will be going under cover as students but the four adults of the group will be poseing as teachers. Speaking of witch Tsunade-sama where is the fourth?" Albus asked looking aroun as if he expected them to just suddenly be there, which could very well happen.

"I exspect she'll be arriving so-." Tsunade was saying right before a huge black ball crashed through the window. A black cloth unfurled in front of Tsunade's desk and her. Out of the cloth popped a purple haired chick with a trench coat. She threw four kunai, each pinning the cloth up. "Aah meet your new P.E. teacher Mitarashi Anko. She's a little crazy, but she'll wip your kids into shape." Tsunade said with a smirk, that could be heard even though no one could see her.

"This is gonna be fun. My name is on the banner and I like dango. I demand that my paymeant be dango. Did I meantion I like dango?" Anko babbled as she minlessly played with an extra sharp kunai.

"Great annother fucking crazy house escapey." Draco groumbled. Anko's eyes flashed with anger and glee and she flung her kunai past his face. Draco paled even more then he already had. Suddenly a small cut opeaned on his cheek. Anko was behind him in an instant licking up the blood.

"Hm, not to bad. But I've tasted better." She looked at the other people in the room and when her eyes landed on Naruto she looked like a demented kid on Christmas morining. "Speak of the little devil. How about you give me annother taste of that sweet, sweet red, life giving candy, na-ru-to-chan?" Anko asked in a subductive pur as she sensuly moved towards him. The blonde did the manly thing, and with an eep pushed Sasuke at Anko before dashing behind Iruka. Anko pushed the little Uchiha aside and was gonna pursue her target until she saw her worst enemy, Iruka in mother hen mode.

"Anko! How dare you say such things to my little boy! Especially in such a voice! I swear if you weren't a part of this village I would would cut out your sinful tounge before slitting your throat and lighting your body on fire!" Iruka yelled at the snake lady. Causing her to hide behind Tsunade.

"Yeah this is Umino Iruka, your new teamwork teacher and counsoler." Tsunade said cheerfully pointing at Iruka. "The pirate looking dude is Hatake Kakashi and I do believe you said he would be a coteacher for Defense against the dark arts. Your last new sensei is my old teammate-." Tsunade siad waving in Kakashi's, who was reading porn, general direction.

"What! Orochimaru that hebi-teme! How could you put him on a mission with us, let alone let him back into the village with what he's done!?!" Naruto exclamed, pointing an accusing finger at the slug lady.

"Not that teammate baka! I meant Jiraiya. He will be the Life Skills teacher. Pffh good luck with that one. Now since there are so many others you can get aquainted later." Tsunade sighed taking a shot of vodka.

"Yes, as I was saying. You will be proteting for a year. Some of you will be assigned special people to guard. Simple no?" Dumbledore said with a small laugh. Tsunade shot him an annoyed glare.

"Since the old coot isn't gonna say it I will. The name of the school is Hogwarts School of Witchecraft and Wizardry. It's a school that teaches you magic." Tsunade said in her I'm a serious perfetional voice. Almost everyone burst up laughing. Surprisingly Naruto was one of the few who didn't.

"Hm. Sounds plosable. I mean if ninjas can be real why not wizards?" the blonde mused.

**"Oh as if you'd know that shit if I hadn't have taught you it when you were younger, kit."** Kyuubi snickered.

'Shut up furball! At least I have aposeable thumbs.' Naruto mentally yelled at his inner demon.

"Alright so I hope you got all that because it's very important and I won't repeat it. So any questions?" Tsunade said looking at them all sternly. Naruto gulped before shakily raising his hand. Tsunade sighed again abd took another quick shot before calling on the blonde fox boy. "Yes Naruto." Said fox boy moved further behind Iruka.

"Ano Tsunade-hime could you pwetty pwease repeat that." He said batting his eyelashes at her and making his eyes wide as possile. All the girls, including Tsunade, squeeled at how cute he was.

"Fine but only once. I said that you were right. Chakra is a more pure, more complex form of magic. You will all be splitting up, and the school starts in a couple of days so be prepared. I exspect weekly reports, Jiraiya! Jiraiya is in charge. Be careful, watch eachother's backs, have fun, and Shikamru will explain this later, but give 'em hell! Take it away Dumbledore." Tsunade said throwing glitter as she pointed at Dumbledore.

"Right two of you need to be sent to Potter-san's, two to Granger-san's, two to Malfoy-san's, and the rest of the students to the Weasley's. The new teachers will be coming to the school with me." Dumbledore explaned. Temari and Tenten pushed Neji and Gaara forward.

"These two will go to Potter-san's place." The two girls said at the same time.

"Very good then. Now if I could get to girls to go to granger-san's." Dumbledore said hinting that Granger-san was a girl. A knock came at the door before anyone could answer.

"Oh that's probably the final member of your group. Come in." Tsunade called. The door opened and a pale boy with dark hair, eyes to match, and a fake smile walked in.

"Hello Hokage-sama I'm here as requested." the boy said in a voice filled to the brim with fake friendlyness. Tenten squeeled and jumped the new guy.

Sai-kun! I missed you! Did you miss me? What have you been up to? Did you know that if a guy ever cheated on me I could torture him in the most painful ways before killing him and never get caught?" Tenten asked with a sweet smile.

"Of course Ten-chan." Sai smiled for real as he looked at her.

"Who is this charming lad?" Dumbledore asked eyeballing the latest adition to the group.

"This is Sai. I wanted to send an even numbered group so I called for him." Tsunade said boredly.

"Anyways, me and Temari will take Granger-san's house." Tenten said twirling a kunai between her fingers.

"Great now I just need two guys to go to the Malfoy's. Shikamaru, Choji will you guys do it?" Tsunade asked the dynamic duo. Before either could say a word Ino had pushed her way up to Tsunade's desk and slamed her hands on the desk.

"Hell no! I refuse! Send someone else!" Ino yelled, smacking her fist on the desk after each sentence.

"Well then it's a good thing I wasn't asking you, huh Ino? Doesn't involve you at all." Tsunade said rubbing her temples. The younger blonde growled like a that fucking scary ass cat my mom use to have.

"If you send my cuddly wuddly teddy bear then it sure as hell involves me! I refuse to be seperated from him during this mission!" The young Yamanaka shouted.

"Hey, hey calm down. I'll go instead of Choji. See no problem." Naruto said, waving his arms around a bit. The blonde mind ninja indeed calmed down.

"NO! I mean you and Shikamaru don't have much practice together so that team wouldn't work." Tsunade said as calmly as she could. 'Of course the gaki has to volenteer to go to the most dangerous place for him.' The hokage thought with a mental sigh.

"I'll go with the dobe." Sasuke said in a bored voice. Everyone looked at him shocked. Sakura, who had still been passed out in the hallway jumped to her feet and rushed to latch onto her crushes side.

"Sasuke-kun you don't have to do that. Naruto-baka would probably just screw up and ruin your reputation. If we're lucky when he screws up he'll kill himself." The bitch babbled at the emo king's side. What happened next was fast, hilarious, and surprising. Hinata walked up to Sakura and bitch slapped her.

"Shut the fuck up! Everyone is so fucking sick and tired of you abusing Naruto-kun all the time! News flash whorebag insulting Sasuke's best friend isn't gonna make him jump into bed with you! The only guy who's crazy enough to wanna jump in the sack with you is Lee and you just talk shit about him behind his back! Grow up and actually learn how to be a konochi because if you did some training instead of standing in front of reflective surfaces all day you might at least become Sasuke's friend!" The Hyuuga heiress screamed with out even stuttering onc. The rest of the group, with the exception of the wizards, clapped.

"Ok Sasuke and Naruto it is then. So Lucius and I shall just start making the portkeys then shall we?" Dumbledore said with a shakey smile. He grabbed five of the used beer bottles on the hokage's desk and did whatever it is that turns random crap into teloportation devices. "Now can you two lovely ladies take a hold of this bottle? Yes like that. Don't worry they'll be expecting you. Now one, two, three." As soon as Dumbledore said three Tenten and Temari spun off. The other ninja watched in awe. Albus turned to Neji and Gaara and handed them another bottle. After a few seconds they were gone too. "Now all of you going to the Weasley's grab this one, and as long as you have even a finger touching you'll be fine." Dumbledore smiled. The large group all touched the bottle, Sakura staying as far from Hinata as possible. They to spun off. "Now those of you who will be at going to Hogwarts now take a hold of this one pleae. There will be a woman named McGonagall Minerva, please give her this letter so that she will know whats going on." The headmaster said passing them the bottle, and Iruka the letter. Naruto was giving quick hugs from Anko, Iruka, and Jiraiya, and Tsunade was given promises of weekly reports before they were gone. "Well Lucius,Draco, boys this one is yours. It will be leaving in just a moment." Albus hinted. Tsunade rushed from her seat and scooped her fellow blonde ninja and surprisingly the raven haired one as well up in a hug that Shizune and Tonton were quick to jump into.

"Be safe otouto, you to Sasuke-san." Shizune said as she released them and held Tonton tightly.

"I expect both of you to be back at the end of this mission. Naruto take good care of the Uchiha heir. And Uchiha you better take care of my heir." Tsunade said ruffling the kitsune's hair lovingly. Dumbledore cleared his throat pointedly and the ninjas broke their hug.

"Well boys I'll see you at school here is your bottle. Tsunade-hime, Shizune-chan it was nice meeting you. I'm sure we'll meet again." Dumbledore said. With a final wave and a small smile he was gone.

"Bye baa-chan! Don't worry I'll make sure this mission goes off without a hitch. After all the future hokage doesn't make mistakes. Love you Shizune-nee, Tonton, Tsunade-baa." Naruto as he joined the other three in grabbing the bottle, just before it took off. The next thing any of the four males felt was a tug at their navel before they started spining super fast. They landed in the middle of a huge, dark, gloomy looking place.

'Hn this sorta looks like my place but darker.' The youngest Uchiha thought as he watched his secret crush try to look at everything at once like a little kid.

"Wow, this place is fucking huge!" the blonde yelled happily twirling around. The blonde was oblivious to the three semi perverted smirks coming his way.

'Damn that blonde's hot. I sure would like to pound into his ass. I wonder if I could give him to the dark Lord to get a higher possition, or mayybe sell him on the black market.' Lucius pervertedly thought.

'I really hope this one is the slave. He has the perfect ass for pounding into.' Draco thought with a smirk as he fought off a nosebleed.

'Oh dobe on this mission I will make yo mine. I'll pound you so hard the whole world will know who you belong to. I won't let the wizards take you!" Sasuke thought with his own smirk at how cute Naruto was when he sneezed repetedly.

"A-a-achu! Why do the pretty girls all have to talk about me at the same time?" the poor blonde asked himself after his third sneeze in a row.

Hari-hime: Whew! Finally done!

Draco: You sure wrote a lot.

Hari-hime: I did didn't I! This is the longest chapie I've ever written and probably ever will write.

Naruto: We'll see about that. I am not that oblivious!

Sasuke: Yes you are koi. But it just makes you cuter.

Naruto:~blush~ Sasu-chan not in front of the readers!

Hari-hime: I think I speak for us all when I say you should do it in front of the readers, but sadly this time we're out of time.

Itachi: We're sorry for any errors that might be in this story, but the spell/grammer check thingy stopped working like half way through this and we still haven't gotten it fixed.

Hari-hime: I also wanna say sorry for how long this has taken to get up. There's the reasons listed above, and I kinda forgot how to post new chapters and had to have a friend show me how.

Shizune: So please be sure to tell us what you thought of this chapter. Positive feedback is always welcome, and flames are always used to make some good old bbq!

All: See you next time!


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